The Gap Year by Bird Sarah

Author:Bird, Sarah [Bird, Sarah]
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
ISBN: 9780307595171
Publisher: Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group
Published: 2011-07-05T07:00:00+00:00

FRIDAY, AUGUST 13, 2010

I haven’t dabbled in drugs much since one unfortunate incident involving marijuana that should have been labeled “crack weed.” I suddenly have the same feeling that I had after smoking the crack weed: The world around me dissolves into wavy lines and recedes at a panic-inducing velocity. Though a roaring in my ears prevents me from hearing exactly what Brad is saying, I’m getting the picture and state it as clearly as I can: “Aubrey took the money? All the first-year money?”

Brad nods.

“That is not possible. The trust specifies that I, the guardian of record, have to be present. I was not present. My daughter doesn’t even have a copy of the trust agreement. You could not have given her the money. Or if you did, it was illegal and your bank is criminally liable.”

Brad is as calm as a yoga instructor as he murmurs, “Situations like these involving divorce and estrangement from the child are difficult, I know. It can be hard for everyone to get on the same page.”

Oh, shit. Brad is giving me Zen Banker.

“ ‘Page’! There is no ‘page’ to be on! I have the page! All the pages!” I hold the trust agreement up.

“Our records indicate …” Brad swivels away from me to study his monitor with the weary demeanor of a man who is tired of dealing with crazy, screaming bitches. Was Joyce a crazy, screaming bitch beneath her perfect highlights? Or did it make it easier for Brad to leave to pretend that she was? “… that we received a fully executed codicil to the original agreement that altered the terms of distribution with the principal trustee mandating that the beneficiary be given full and complete access to all funds designated in Section—”

“You gave the money to Aubrey? You didn’t send it to Peninsula State College?”

“That appears to be the case.”

“You just gave a child a year’s worth of college tuition?”

Brad scans the form on his computer. “Our records indicate that Aubrey’s birthday is today and she turned eighteen—”

“Oh, God! Her birthday. That’s what she was waiting for. Fucking ‘legal age.’ How much?”

Brad had taken his hand off the mouse at “fucking,” and I already feel him distancing himself. “I’m going to need to check on a few things before we—” He means he’s going to talk to lawyers.

“Something in the vicinity of thirty thousand dollars, I guess.” The way Brad’s eyes flicker back to the screen confirms how close I am. “Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fucking Tyler Modenhauer, he put her up to this!”

I am now screeching like a howler monkey, which causes Brad to go to his ultimate Zen Banker level and start scribbling down the phone numbers of “someone in corporate” who might be “better able to assist” me. Then he uses the word “defund” and I come close to losing it altogether until I remember that I’m in a bank and that Brad, no doubt, has a button under his desk he can push and I’ll be

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